I was on a business call the other day and they were talking about the concept of creating oneself vs finding oneself. We so often hear phrases such as “looking for oneself”, “searching for oneself”, “figuring out who I am,” etc..

BUT

What if it wasn’t about all these words, looking, searching, figuring and finding. What if it was just as simple as creating. What if we could go to the “self store” and we could take from the shelves what we wanted to be and put it in our carts and that was all there was to it.

Today I think I’ll be brilliant, confident, courageous, a dash of silly and perhaps a touch of daring. Or maybe I’d like to be friendly, easygoing, and a successful entrepreneur. Maybe I’d like to be all of them or maybe something completely different.

The possibilities are endless, and it being just that simple could alter the quality of our lives over night.

In my years of detective work trying to understand why humans do what they do, it has become very clear that we all have become pretty good actors.

We dress a certain way for a particular role, we buy cars based on what image it will project, we let our education and the colleges we attend define us. What makeup won’t fix for magazine models Photoshop will. The phrase “Keeping up with Jones’” mean anything?

I love the dialogue in the movie The Devil Wears Prada between Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway. Anne is demonstrating disgust for the flamboyancy of the fashion world, while Meryle points out that even though Anne might think her outfit was benign, it in fact had been created by designers to make a very specific statement.

The source of our discontent lies in the fear that someone will find out that we’re a fraud, that we’re not who and what we appear to be. I’m not sure what we think would happen if our dark secret was to be discovered, because we all do it. None the less that fear is very real and it impacts our ability to be truly happy.

My middle daughter is pursuing a career in musical theater, and she has told me many times that when she is on that stage it takes less courage to be that character than it does to be herself. She loves performing, she feels fulfilled, happy and free.

Think about that!

For her the feeling of fulfillment, happiness and freedom comes because she is supposed to be acting. The fear of being discovered that she is a fraud is eliminated.

What if we were able to accept that this life is a stage and we have the freedom to be what ever we want…free of judgment.

Would we, could we let go of the fear and chose to create wonderful characters to inhabit this world?

Try it for a day

Declare “Today I’m going to be “xyz”. Define what the “xyz” will be, get specific, what does “x” look and feel like. Who do you know, personally or have seen in a flim or TV show that demonstrates “x”. What mannerisms do they use, how do they walk, talk, hold their arm, what facial expressions do they make to convey “x”.

Visualize yourself wearing your new “x” and proudly strutting your stuff down Madison Ave, how do you feel? Write down the feelings that come up during this exercise and look closely at them. For most of us ridiculous will probably be at the top. But look again…is “x” really any more ridiculous than say maybe the “abc” you strut everyday, or is just a little uncomfortable like breaking in a new pair of shoes?

Don’t forget to do this for “y” and “z” too. Finally…find the courage to let go of the fear of being discovered and have fun with it, you might just be surprised at what amazing things can happen.

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