The challenges of being a parent these days can test the talents of even the most accomplished and knowledgeable in the field. I have 3 girls, one in college, one in high school and one in the forth grade.

Each of them have their own unique set of needs and issues but the common thread for all three is the struggle of how do “I” and where do “I” fit in.

I can remember from my own youth feeling the same way, I have to admit that at different phases of my life these questions still occasionally pop up. So how can we help our children to discover their self Identity in order for them to successfully find their place in this world, when the answers elude us even as adults?

Well…it’s a tall order and what works one day may not work the next but I do have a few suggestions that if consistently implemented will give your kids an advantage.

Talk to your kids

Share your stories and feelings with them so they know that they are not alone. For some reason we humans find comfort in knowing that there are others just like us.

Motivate

Encourage them to practice behavior that makes them feel good about themselves and gives them a sense of accomplishment like completing homework, helping a friend, taking care of their clothes, toys, pets, room etc., being respectful to others, sharing, ( I could go on and on but you get the idea ).

Educate

Teach them to believe in themselves. Let them know they are capable of doing anything that they desire if they are willing to put in the time and effort.

Instill Confidence

Try to get them to understand the difference between confidence and cocky. Confidence is a quiet peaceful knowledge and embodiment of one’s value. Cocky on the other hand is a loud demonstration of trying to convince ones self as well as others of one’s value.

And most importantly!

Tell them a bazillion times a day how much you love them no matter what choices they make, after all Edison made 1000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb before he succeeded, as long as they keep trying they too will eventually succeed.

At the end of the day when they begin to understand how their behavior affects the way they feel they are then able to make choices based on who they desire to be and how they want to feel, making it easier to know how and where they will fit in.

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